Where Heartache Ends

Good morning and a Happy Easter to all. Though much time has passed, Thanksgiving and Christmas remain two of the most difficult days of the year for me. While it definitely helps to recall the countless ways God blesses me so much more than I deserve, there is no ignoring the empty chair at the Thanksgiving table. Though it certainly lifts my spirit to celebrate the birth of Jesus and the good news it brings to all men and women, there is still one less Christmas stocking to put up.

Easter, however, can never get here fast enough. After months where all around me is bleak and desolate, how I anticipate the arrival of Easter and its signal to the tulips to begin their blossom. After weeks where all I do is shiver, how I am eager for the coming of Easter and its capacity to reinstitute warm temperatures. After days where I am reminded of death's pervasive reach, how I await the onset of Easter and its proclamation that life does indeed go on.

As one with a fondness for music, I often carry a tune with me to last the day. This morning I woke with a song I’ve grown quite attached to in recent years. It is a song taken from Phil 3:10 and one I lead frequently at my church’s community meal on Wednesday nights. It goes, “ I want to know Christ and the pow’r of His rising, Share in His suffering, conform to His death; When I pour out my life to be filled with His Spirit, Joy follows suffering, and life follows death.”

 It is the song’s last line that captures the powerful truth of Easter to which I cling. Since this is a broken world, it doesn’t take much to feel that I live an existence where the opposite seems more valid. A reality where suffering follows joy, and death follows life. But because God has seen fit to raise the sun on another Easter morning, I can boldly reject such false notions, decidedly cast out such deceitful impulses.

Instead, I choose to know Christ and the power of his unfailing promises. Despite times when my eyes can’t see it, I can trust Christ’s promise that my grief will not delay joy’s everlasting arrival. Though there are times when my heart can’t feel it, I can believe Christ’s promise that not even my death will postpone life’s eternal homecoming. Though grief starts at the cross on Good Friday, it is at the empty tomb on Easter where heartache ends. Thanks be to God.

CJE

Where Worship Begins

Good morning on this Good Friday. While today intends to remember the terrible loss God the Father endured in the suffering and death of Jesus Christ, I also believe that God invites us to bring our own pain before him no matter what form our loss takes. And with prayer and patience, God can help us uncover the good that hides itself in the deep recesses of our suffering. 

So where exactly does one find the good in Good Friday? In the Good Friday story and elsewhere in scripture, I find that the good lies in two enduring truths. First, there is the eternal truth that God suffers WITH us. Psalm 34:18 declares, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit." This verse describes a God who just doesn't want to know about our suffering, he wants to feel it. 

Second, there is the lasting truth that God suffers BECAUSE of us. Isaiah 53:5 proclaims, "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." This verse reveals that God's suffering stems from his ability and willingness to bear the cost of remaining faithful to unfaithful people. 

While human suffering is always valid, it never comes within a billion miles of Christ's suffering. For Christ just didn't experience the rejection and betrayal of man, but was separated from the infinite love of the Father when nailed to the cross. Who among us can imagine having to endure such cosmic suffering?

And yet it is the cosmic agony of Christ that can provide us relief in the midst of our suffering. What else could be more soothing to our pain than the knowledge that God himself has wounds of his own. One may not know the reason why God allows suffering to continue, but who can deny his love for us having plunged into the deepest depths of suffering himself.

What makes an all-powerful God decide to become so vulnerable as to sit down next to us in our grief? Why would an invincible God accept the punishment of the cross as a means to end evil without having to end us?

I'm not sure I'll ever know the answer to such questions. More importantly, I coming to accept that I don't NEED to know. If I've learned in anything about God in the five years since losing Marcus, it is this: the point where my comprehension ends is where my worship begins. Thanks be to God.

CJE     

The Single Pacifist

Good afternoon all. As you can see, it's been two years to the day since my last post. I want to start by introducing some of the new modifications I've made to the blog. Over the past two months I've made significant changes to the blog including style alterations, adding new content, and even changing the domain address.

First, I've added a WRITINGS page to the blog. This section contains much of my writing over the past 10 years including past sermons, communion devotionals, and camp devotionals. In recent years, I've been drawn to the act of writing my own psalms and sonnets which will now find a home on my blog. Finally, you can read my Master's thesis and a grad school essay if you're looking to fill a couple hours. 

Second, I've included a VISUALS page to the blog. This section contains a few short videos I've made. It also has a gallery of photos I've taken in recent years with a little blurb about where the photos were taken. Third, I've incorporated a CAUSES page to the blog.  This section is comprised of two causes that I am most passionate about: The Hope Film Series and its effort to support The Marcus Ewing Memorial Fund.

So why The Single Pacifist? About a month ago now, I was up late one night making additions and subtractions to the blog. I decided I couldn't go to sleep until I settled on a new domain for the blog. Based on my friends' blogs and others I've read, the domain name traditionally reflects an aspect of the writer's identity. That is to say, the domain name often reflects how the writer views himself or herself.

Of course, the writer must find a way to match their identity with domain names that are available. While I was typing in multiple domain names only to find someone else had already stolen my idea, I started to think about some key threads woven into the fabric of my life thus far.

The more I thought about it, the more I recognized that being single and a pacifist are two major threads of my identity that have spanned most of my life and continue to do so. And wouldn't you know it, no one had yet to claim that domain name. Thus, The Single Pacifist was born.

Moving forward, I aim to write about a variety of life experiences. However, I would be remiss if I did not dedicate time to writing about what it's like to be single and non-violent when surrounded by married couples in a world that becomes more violent by the day.

In a world of ever growing violence, the single pacifist also takes on literal meaning as advocates of non-violence can feel like they're the only one in favor of peace. Both at church and in the world, the single and the pacifist often times are made to feel like a second-class citizen. Or at least that has been my experience. But more on that later.

For now, I hope you take time to visit the new additions to the blog. And whether you are single or married, pacifist or not, Christian or undecided; I think we can all agree life is a precious gift that is not to be wasted, nor destroyed. Thank you for your time. Again, my name is Chris and I am The Single Pacifist. 

CJE