I'm not sure where the time goes, but next weekend is the beginning of October. There was a time when I looked forward to October with its cooler temperatures, brightly colored leaves, and the start of playoff baseball. Since losing Marcus, however, October 1st has become for me a kind of Opening Day for a season of loneliness that usually lasts through the holidays.
Don't get me wrong, the beauty of God's creation in autumn still takes my breath away and I still find great joy anytime I get to watch the National League win the World Series. And yet I can't escape the perceptible quiet of my house and the audible silence of my phone. In such lonely moments, I think about how nice it would be for Marcus to visit or call.
Now one does not experience loneliness only in the aftermath of tragic loss. For whether you find yourself in good times or heartbreaking moments, whether you are happily married or like myself having been diagnosed chronically single; I believe all of us will experience loneliness at one time or another.
Though a natural part of the human condition, loneliness ultimately proves incompatible with a life built on faith in Jesus Christ. Several years ago Adrienne introduced me to writings of Elisabeth Elliot. Through both immeasurable loss and terrific gain in her life, I find Elliot provides great insights into both the cause of loneliness and remedies for it. In her book, Passion and Purity, Elliot encourages the reader to first be still and know that He is God. For if He is God, then Elliot says He is still in charge.
Second, remember that you are not alone. For He is there never once forgetting you. Third, Give thanks that your momentary loneliness is outweighed by eternal glory. Fourth, absolutely refuse self-pity and its power to destroy you. Fifth, accept your loneliness as one stage, and not the only stage for it will not always last. Sixth, offer up your loneliness to God so He can transform it for the good of others. And finally, do something for someone else for there is always something you can do and there is always someone who needs you.
Whether your season of loneliness is ending or just beginning, may of all us do our best to remember that loneliness can stay a feeling and not become a reality. For in moments when we feel isolated, it does imply we have to stay secluded. In instances when we sense we have been deserted, it does not signify that we have been abandoned. In times when we feel alone, it does not mean we have to be lonely.
CJE