50 Years Too Soon

Good morning. Though I confess it's always hard to find the good when the calendar turns to October 22. If we've not met yet, today marks 7 years since my lost my baby brother, Marcus, to a ridiculous bicycle accident on the streets of New York City. I've experienced a thousand different thoughts and feelings since that day. However, one feeling that still persists 7 years later is the sense that Marcus' passing came 50 years too soon. 

I mean it's one thing to lose a brother a month before his 78th birthday, but it's incredibly cruel and unfair to be confronted with the loss of your brother a month before his 28th birthday. I am grateful for the peace in realizing that me and Marcus made the most of our relationship in last ten years of his life, and experienced many amazing things together. Yet I am continually frustrated by the grief in knowing that me and Marcus had talked about experiencing so much more in the years ahead...including the Cincinnati Reds winning another World Series. 

In the days after Marcus' passing I'm confident that Adrienne, my parents, and myself ask ourselves repeatedly, "so what am I suppose to do with the next 50 years?" In different ways, seven years has already provided some answers to this question so unexpectedly beautiful that only God's will can supply. For God tasked Adrienne with the responsibility of becoming a mother to Georgie, and bestowed to my parents the honor of becoming Nana and Pops. As for becoming an uncle, it's a gift that continues to bring joy and a smile to my face when I need it most. 

With 7 years down, I suppose that makes it another 43 more years to decide how best to live them. Over the past year, I've found renewed strength in a old conviction that my time is best spent counseling and supporting teens who have the desire to grow up in Christ. For me there is no more satisfying work than doing what I can to keep these young boys free from the clutches of porn and dispel the locker-room notions of romance they might hear, while for the girls in the youth group I do my best to convince them that God does not make ugly. 

If you haven't already, I would encourage you to spend time this week thinking about how you want to spend the next 50 years. However, I would advise all of us to not spend all our time thinking at the expense of living.  Let avoid the traps of assuming we have more time to accomplish our goals. Let us escape the pitfalls of presuming we can achieve our dreams later. Because if there is anything that death teaches us about life on earth, it is that 50 years will go by too soon. 

CJE