Love Begins At Home

Well The Single Pacifist is now a single pacifist with a mortgage. I am overwhelmed with gratitude, wonder, and joy at God's provision of my new home. It's has all that I need including new appliances, beautiful backyard with flowers blooming everywhere, quiet street, walking distance to church, and a diverse neighborhood of people from all walks of life. 

Our notions of home possess vivid imagery and profound symbolism. And it got me to thinking that this a wonderful opportunity to share a lesson taught to me several years ago by one of God's most devout servants and humblest teachers... Mother Teresa.

I want to say that I was in my mid-20s when I first picked up a copy of No Greater Love, which a collection of short essays on topics she thought extremely important to a life of faith. In the chapter entitled On Children & the Family, Mother Teresa explains the reason why peace is constantly breaking down in the world. 

I marvel at how a woman possessing nothing more than a secondary education could grasp what continues to elude "well-educated" presidents and prime ministers. I am in awe of her ability to convey such profound ideas void of complicated terms and complex concepts so that even those with no education can comprehend her explanation. 

At its core, Mother's Teresa conviction states that the reason as to why there is no peace in the world is because there is no peace at home. Additionally, Mother Teresa reminds us that peace itself is only the effect, not the cause; the fruit, not the seed; the end, not the means. 

She believes that the precursor to peace is and has always been LOVE. For without the cause of love, there can be no effect of peace. Absence the seeds of love, there can be no trees of peace. Minus the means of love, one cannot achieve the peaceful ends he or she seeks. And though it comes first, love and peace begin at the same place. So where does love begin? According to Mother Teresa, love begins at home.

But before I butcher Mother Teresa's idea any further why don't I let Mother Teresa speak for herself. What follows are excerpts from the chapter On Children & the Family from her book, No Greater Love.

Mother Teresa, you now have the floor...   

"...I have a conviction that I want to share with you. Love begins at home. Only when love abides at home can we share it with our next-door neighbor. Then it will show forth and you will be able to say to them, "Yes, love is here." And then you will be able to share it with everyone around you..."

..."We are here to be witnesses of love and to celebrate life, because life has been created in the image of God. Life is to love and to be loved. That is why we have to take a strong stand so that no child, boy or girl, will be rejected or unloved. Every child is a sign of God's love, that has to be extended over all the earth..." 

"...I think the world today is upside-down. It is suffering so much because there is so little love in the home and in family life. We have no time for our children. We have no time for each other. There is no time to enjoy each other, and the lack of love causes so much suffering and unhappiness in the world..." 

"...Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater development and greater riches. Children have very little time for their parents and parents have very little time for their children and for each other. So the breakdown of peace in the world begins at home..."

CJE

The Origins Of Non-Violence

Now that I have settled the yoga pants debate once and for all, I press on to a more pressing subject and that is the subject of peace. Starting in July, I will be teaching the adult bible class at my church on non-violence using the book of Exodus. 

 At the outset, Exodus may seem like a strange choice to facilitate a discussion on non-violence considering that there is considerable violence in the Exodus story. However, the violence in Exodus and much of the Old Testament only reaffirms the ancient truth that violence only makes things worse, that violence is corrosive. 

Never does Israel become more faithful, never does Israel's prosper when carrying out violence by their own hand. It is only when God goes before them into the battle does Israel succeed, only when Israel puts their full trust in God do they flourish. In fact, Israel finds itself conquered and led into exile anytime it chose to adopt the violent and oppressive practices of the other nations. 

Now why does God chose to carry out violence against the other nations? That's a great question, and one I'm not sure that I will ever fully comprehend. Regardless, the story of Exodus for me is more than a excursion towards freedom, but a journey towards non-violence culminating in the formation of the Ten Commandments. For in the Ten Commandments one finds safeguards against those evils that inevitably lead to violence. 

Whether it be idolatry, disobedience, adultery, covetness, or falsehood, each make us increasingly susceptible to acts of violence in efforts to steal, hide, or protect that which we love more than anything or anyone. The Ten Commandments represent God's effort bring Israel out from the violent existence it knew in Egypt and into the reality that God intended from the beginning. A reality of peace, a reality of non-violence.

Whether at home or aboard, our world seems to grow more violent with each passing day. Now if the problem of violence has its roots in the Fall and its giving rise to great evil, then perhaps the solution to violence has its origins in profound good like the Ten Commandments and its giving  credence to non-violence. At least that's what I hope the class will show.

CJE 

PSA 1: Yoga Pants Are Not Pants

In my last post I briefly spoke to the erosion of modesty from our popular culture. While both genders could do better in their pursuit of modesty, I must say there is in women's fashion a glaring oversight with respect to modesty.  In recent years, I've noticed more and more women mistake yoga pants for actual pants. Well in this week's public service announcement, the Chris Ewing Council On Common Sense (CECOCS) has ruled officially that yoga pants are in fact NOT pants.  

I think this post's banner picture says it all by showing it all..literally. I often wonder, do some women realize how little wonder, how little mystery exists in a pair of yoga pants? And I ask myself, do some women wear yoga pants to impress men or intimidate other women? Perhaps both? 

Like swimsuits for swimmers, I have this silly notion that yoga pants serve a functional purpose and that being the practice of yoga. Now perhaps some women attend upwards of 10 yoga sessions a day that requires them to stay in yoga pants all day or maybe all women have become certified yoga instructors and I've just missed it. 

More likely, however, I would think there is a five minute window in their day where one change yoga pants for actual pants. And if not for the sake of modesty, then for creativity. Yoga pants seem to me like a version of the lazy man's sweatpants. What little I know about women's fashion it is that there are options, and to wear the same pair of black yoga pants everyday shows a lack of imagination.

Some will disregard me altogether saying, " there goes Chris on another one of his classic rants." But in all seriousness, I think about the struggle over body image for the teens I help mentor in my church's youth group. Especially for the young girls, the battle over body image is one they fight against daily at school, and the yoga pants fashion standard only makes their struggle harder. So for their sake, can we all settle on the fact that yoga pants are NOT pants?

This has been a public service message brought to you by the Chris Ewing Council On Common Sense.

CJE      

Encouragement Over Pity

The single life is a good life. However, it is not always an easy life. On good days, I feel at peace in the knowledge that only in God's love can I be made whole, only in God's love will I be satisfied. When hard days come, I sense a terrible conflict inside me where I am bombarded by the feeling that something is missing, that I am somehow inadequate. 

 I find myself having to engage  this conflict on two fronts. Not surprisingly, the first front I battle against is our broken culture where purity and modesty have gone out of business, while pornography and the sex-trade remain billion dollar industries. Moreover, our culture so firmly believes in the myth of "safe-sex" that one blinds himself or herself to the wreckage caused by men who play at love to get "sex," and women who play at sex to get "love."

Now to my continued astonishment, the second front I struggle against is the pity of well-intentioned Christ followers at church and elsewhere. Rarely, if ever, does someone at church say to me, "Chris, I am really proud of you for not fathering 7 children with 7 different women," or, "Chris, I'm really impressed by your commitment to stay pure in a sex-crazed culture." I think I can count on one hand the number of times I received such encouragement from fellow Christians.

More often I hear, "Chris, I know the perfect girl for you. Here's her number. You should give her a call," and "Chris, why are you still single?" or even worse, "Chris, you know you're not getting any younger." And if I don't hear it, then I see it in their expressions. Despite my best efforts to show that I enjoy the life I have, they look at me as if to say, "Poor Chris, he must be so lonely," or "Poor Chris, I can't believe he hasn't found anyone."

I realize that people just want to be helpful. While I appreciate such concern for my well-being, I must say that it does more harm than good. For pity is not a enemy of lust and loneliness, but an ally. Pity fights not for the advancement of righteousness, but defends the cause of selfishness. Pity prefers not the route of delayed victory, but the path of quick surrender.

I do not expect to receive any kind of medal for doing the right thing. All I expect is that when I sense something is missing, you will remind me that Christ's love is sufficient. I do not want a parade for resisting the temptations of sin. All I want is that when I feel like I am inadequate, you will tell me that I am enough. I do not ask for special consideration for simply doing what Christ asks of me. All I ask is that when deciding how best to help me, you will consider choosing encouragement over pity.

CJE

What Pacifism Is Not

So exactly what does it mean to identify one's self as a pacifist? Let me begin by saying that I do not speak for all pacifists, nor does any insensitive pacifist speak for me. I intend only to provide clarity where there is confusion. I mean to instill calm where there is anxiety. I aim to start conversation where there is silence.  

To be honest, I have always disliked the term, "pacifist," for its misleading connotations. Upon hearing the word, most assume that pacifism is synonymous with notions of passivity. As if to suggest that pacifism seems impotent against the tyrannical forces of injustice. For many, pacifism looks idle where appears to lack the energy and the will to combat agents of terror.  Still for others at first glance, pacifism appears irresponsible for seemingly permitting violence to exist and occur without any active, open or direct response. 

So in an effort to correct such misunderstandings going forward, I propose substituting the term and posture of pacifism with the phrase and attitude of non-violence. I would have much preferred to entitle my blog, "The Single Practitioner of Non-Violence," but "The Single Pacifist" tested better with my focus group :). 

Because far from taking a position of passive defense, non-violence goes on the offensive with effective sit-ins, boycotts, and marches as witnessed in the Civil Rights Movement. Rather than being ineffective against oppression, non-violence possesses the power to defeat "invincible" empires as evidenced by Gandhi's victory over the British Empire. Instead of abdicating responsibility,  non-violence takes up the charge of securing justice for the oppressed and afflicted as observed in South Africa's effort to repair the damage caused by apartheid.   

Finally, I feel it is important to cite the justification behind my choice to believe in and advocate for non-violence. My choice rests not on some idealistic humanism that assumes all people are inherently good, nor depends on some utopian unitarianism that strives for the greatest good for the greatest number of people.

Rather, my choice to embrace the non-violence of pacifism finds validation in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. For in his life, Jesus often orchestrated sit-ins with sinners enduring persecution and exclusion, constantly boycotted the Pharisees' edicts and customs. In his death, Jesus defeated both the Roman Empire and our greatest enemy which remains death itself. In his resurrection, Jesus secured the justice God demanded so as to preserve the hope of salvation for all. Thus more than I could ever do, Jesus Christ powerfully demonstrates what pacifism is not.

CJE 

Cheer Up Adele

A little over a month ago, I found myself driving a van full of teenage girls to the Winterfest youth rally in Gatlinburg, TN. Despite my best efforts to introduce them to great soul artists like Sam and Dave, the only music they wanted to hear was Adele's new album, 25. Now I recognize that Adele's talent for singing and writing is God-given and she is by far the greatest singer in a generation.

That being said, 25 is quite possibly the saddest hour of music ever recorded. When the album was finished I wondered, has anyone checked on Adele lately to make sure she is ok? Ever since I've been asking myself, what is it about Adele's music that depicts such a bleak and desperate outlook. Surely something can be done to cheer up the characters whom Adele writes about, which apparently all teenage girls can "relate" to. 

First, I feel like I have to state the obvious. Perhaps you should stop breaking his heart if you want him to call you back. Second, I can't emphasize the importance of perspective. The most humorous song on the album has to be, "When We Were Young," when you consider it was written by someone who just turned 25. Having lived ten years on the other side of 25, I can say with confidence that what seemed awful and heartbreaking at the time was but a molehill compared to the mountain of pain and grief I would come to know later. 

Finally, I think why Adele's 25 is absent of joy and hope is because it is void of Christ. For comparison, I recommend you listen to another extremely talented female vocalist, Sara Groves. It was during college when I was first introduced to her song, "Conversations," and quickly captivated by its lyric, "...I don't claim to have found the truth, but I know it has found me..." 

Back in November, Sara released a new album entitled, "Floodplain."In particular, I found that I connected most with the song, "Enough." In it she writes, "...Really we don't need much. Just strength to believe. There's honey in the rock, there's more than we see. In these patches of joy, these stretches of sorrow. There's enough for today, there will be enough tomorrow..." 

It's in lyrics like these that most clearly demonstrate why Sara's music succeeds where Adele's fails. In Adele's music there is no mention of provision and redemption, which leaves the listener to assume that there is no hope for relief or escape from heartache. However, Sara's music makes it clear that there is a provider and a redeemer; and his name is Jesus Christ. And against him no fear or grief can stand. Is there any more cheerful thought than that?

Maybe I should send Adele a copy of Sara's new album? Hmm.....

CJE

Where Heartache Ends

Good morning and a Happy Easter to all. Though much time has passed, Thanksgiving and Christmas remain two of the most difficult days of the year for me. While it definitely helps to recall the countless ways God blesses me so much more than I deserve, there is no ignoring the empty chair at the Thanksgiving table. Though it certainly lifts my spirit to celebrate the birth of Jesus and the good news it brings to all men and women, there is still one less Christmas stocking to put up.

Easter, however, can never get here fast enough. After months where all around me is bleak and desolate, how I anticipate the arrival of Easter and its signal to the tulips to begin their blossom. After weeks where all I do is shiver, how I am eager for the coming of Easter and its capacity to reinstitute warm temperatures. After days where I am reminded of death's pervasive reach, how I await the onset of Easter and its proclamation that life does indeed go on.

As one with a fondness for music, I often carry a tune with me to last the day. This morning I woke with a song I’ve grown quite attached to in recent years. It is a song taken from Phil 3:10 and one I lead frequently at my church’s community meal on Wednesday nights. It goes, “ I want to know Christ and the pow’r of His rising, Share in His suffering, conform to His death; When I pour out my life to be filled with His Spirit, Joy follows suffering, and life follows death.”

 It is the song’s last line that captures the powerful truth of Easter to which I cling. Since this is a broken world, it doesn’t take much to feel that I live an existence where the opposite seems more valid. A reality where suffering follows joy, and death follows life. But because God has seen fit to raise the sun on another Easter morning, I can boldly reject such false notions, decidedly cast out such deceitful impulses.

Instead, I choose to know Christ and the power of his unfailing promises. Despite times when my eyes can’t see it, I can trust Christ’s promise that my grief will not delay joy’s everlasting arrival. Though there are times when my heart can’t feel it, I can believe Christ’s promise that not even my death will postpone life’s eternal homecoming. Though grief starts at the cross on Good Friday, it is at the empty tomb on Easter where heartache ends. Thanks be to God.

CJE

Where Worship Begins

Good morning on this Good Friday. While today intends to remember the terrible loss God the Father endured in the suffering and death of Jesus Christ, I also believe that God invites us to bring our own pain before him no matter what form our loss takes. And with prayer and patience, God can help us uncover the good that hides itself in the deep recesses of our suffering. 

So where exactly does one find the good in Good Friday? In the Good Friday story and elsewhere in scripture, I find that the good lies in two enduring truths. First, there is the eternal truth that God suffers WITH us. Psalm 34:18 declares, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit." This verse describes a God who just doesn't want to know about our suffering, he wants to feel it. 

Second, there is the lasting truth that God suffers BECAUSE of us. Isaiah 53:5 proclaims, "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." This verse reveals that God's suffering stems from his ability and willingness to bear the cost of remaining faithful to unfaithful people. 

While human suffering is always valid, it never comes within a billion miles of Christ's suffering. For Christ just didn't experience the rejection and betrayal of man, but was separated from the infinite love of the Father when nailed to the cross. Who among us can imagine having to endure such cosmic suffering?

And yet it is the cosmic agony of Christ that can provide us relief in the midst of our suffering. What else could be more soothing to our pain than the knowledge that God himself has wounds of his own. One may not know the reason why God allows suffering to continue, but who can deny his love for us having plunged into the deepest depths of suffering himself.

What makes an all-powerful God decide to become so vulnerable as to sit down next to us in our grief? Why would an invincible God accept the punishment of the cross as a means to end evil without having to end us?

I'm not sure I'll ever know the answer to such questions. More importantly, I coming to accept that I don't NEED to know. If I've learned in anything about God in the five years since losing Marcus, it is this: the point where my comprehension ends is where my worship begins. Thanks be to God.

CJE     

The Single Pacifist

Good afternoon all. As you can see, it's been two years to the day since my last post. I want to start by introducing some of the new modifications I've made to the blog. Over the past two months I've made significant changes to the blog including style alterations, adding new content, and even changing the domain address.

First, I've added a WRITINGS page to the blog. This section contains much of my writing over the past 10 years including past sermons, communion devotionals, and camp devotionals. In recent years, I've been drawn to the act of writing my own psalms and sonnets which will now find a home on my blog. Finally, you can read my Master's thesis and a grad school essay if you're looking to fill a couple hours. 

Second, I've included a VISUALS page to the blog. This section contains a few short videos I've made. It also has a gallery of photos I've taken in recent years with a little blurb about where the photos were taken. Third, I've incorporated a CAUSES page to the blog.  This section is comprised of two causes that I am most passionate about: The Hope Film Series and its effort to support The Marcus Ewing Memorial Fund.

So why The Single Pacifist? About a month ago now, I was up late one night making additions and subtractions to the blog. I decided I couldn't go to sleep until I settled on a new domain for the blog. Based on my friends' blogs and others I've read, the domain name traditionally reflects an aspect of the writer's identity. That is to say, the domain name often reflects how the writer views himself or herself.

Of course, the writer must find a way to match their identity with domain names that are available. While I was typing in multiple domain names only to find someone else had already stolen my idea, I started to think about some key threads woven into the fabric of my life thus far.

The more I thought about it, the more I recognized that being single and a pacifist are two major threads of my identity that have spanned most of my life and continue to do so. And wouldn't you know it, no one had yet to claim that domain name. Thus, The Single Pacifist was born.

Moving forward, I aim to write about a variety of life experiences. However, I would be remiss if I did not dedicate time to writing about what it's like to be single and non-violent when surrounded by married couples in a world that becomes more violent by the day.

In a world of ever growing violence, the single pacifist also takes on literal meaning as advocates of non-violence can feel like they're the only one in favor of peace. Both at church and in the world, the single and the pacifist often times are made to feel like a second-class citizen. Or at least that has been my experience. But more on that later.

For now, I hope you take time to visit the new additions to the blog. And whether you are single or married, pacifist or not, Christian or undecided; I think we can all agree life is a precious gift that is not to be wasted, nor destroyed. Thank you for your time. Again, my name is Chris and I am The Single Pacifist. 

CJE

The Old Ballgame

And another season begins

Spring it is most good to see you again. Last Saturday I began my 2nd season on the Cincinnati Reds grounds crew. People ask all the time what is it like, but how do you explain the unexplainable?

The best I can do is compare it to a dream-like feeling where after about five minutes you realize you're wide awake and you recognize that your dream has become you're reality.

Being just a small part of the game only reaffirms my belief that baseball is the greatest game ever created. What other sport do managers in their mid 60s wear the uniform of the players? 

Where else do fans of both teams come together for one brief moment to sign "Take me out to the old ball game?" I could on in the ways baseball separates itself from the other sports. 

I look forward to taking in the opening day festivities with family and friends at this end of this month. And if for some ridiculous reason you've never been to a game, may this be the year that you take your place along one of the baselines and come to know the joy of being a part of the old ballgame.

CJE